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A Living Testimony
by DStar

As a Christian it is easy to go about life's routine and ups and downs without realizing if you have ever really been tested. Until your faith comes under such a fire that you cannot breath and you are frozen with fear from it....then you have not been tested. And this type test come from nowhere and suddenly there you are in the middle of it. My Pastor says that fear and faith are opposites. You can't have both at the same time. Well, I had my test one day.

Out of the blue. I was so unsuspecting. And didn't even recognize it as a test of faith at first. But as just one of those circumstances we humans have to accept. I was working from an office in my home after the birth of my second child. Our morning routine of mushed cereal and juice was interrupted repeatedly by my business phone. But it was what God wanted me to stay home with my child.

I remember that morning very clearly. I was working and periodically checking my watch and thinking to myself, "It's almost time for her to wake up." Her, meaning my baby. I remember later looking at my watch in between frantic phone calls that is was time for her to get up. An hour later I thought, "Well, she is sleeping in this morning." This went on until she was two hours late waking. I began to worry enough to switch the phone over to my answering service. I walked to her room as I did every morning singing out, "Chelsea! Rise and shine gorgeous!" But as I entered the room I noticed she hadn't even stirred at the sound of my voice. She looked kind of funny in the face. So, I rubbed her small cheek with my hand and sang 'You Are My Sunshine' to her. Still she didn't stir. So, I picked her up and she was like a rag doll in my hands. Completely limp.

The panic set in next and I raced to the phone and called my sister. I recall screaming in the phone, "She won't wake up!!! Wake her up!!!" My sister told me to take her to the hospital. Well, living where I did the hospital was too far away for me to drive and I was in no state of mind to be driving. So, I put her in the car seat and drove to her pediatrician's office down the street in our neighborhood. I don't remember how I drove, if I even stopped at any lights or pulled out in front of other drivers. That part is all a blur to me now. As I was gripped with fear. I was so terrified!!! Fear had set in and took hold of my very soul. I ran into the doctor's office hugging my limp child and screaming. The nurse immediately took me to a room and the doctor came in. He took one look at my child and called an ambulance. He began drawing blood to determine what was wrong with her. He told me that my baby was comatose. The bottom fell out!

I broke out in hives and began to feel myself fall to pieces. The fear had almost completely taken all that I am and walked all over it. It wasn't until after they strapped us in the back of the ambulance that my spirit kicked in what I had learned from the Bible and from so many Sundays of studying just what faith is. When it did kick in I went calm. Completely. I looked at my child and said this prayer, "Jesus, I love You. I have faith in You for everything in my life. Even this. Jesus, you are the One that knows all things. But, Lord, as I remember Job, I remember the test of faith. And Lord, EVEN if you take this child from me today, I will STILL be your servant tomorrow. It will change nothing between us."

I rode the rest of the way to the hospital much calmer. My fear having been replaced with faith. My baby was in a coma for three days and they never could determine why. But I know that when the test of faith came due...I passed!!! All those hours you spend studying, praying and reading God's word....will pay off. God's word will come through for you when applied to your life in all situations. Just remember to never let fear replace your faith.



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January 16, 2000

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