Throughout my life, God has been with me. I have no doubt of this. I think it also makes it harder for me to pinpoint a specific time when I became a Christian, because to me Christ has always been a focal point in my life. There have been ups and downs,,, sometimes feeling closer, sometimes further away, but always there. He has guided, delivered, healed, tested, and trained. He has worked miracles and answered prayers, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, but always and in His time.
I was brought up the Episcopal church... a very small but loving community. These people always made sure I had a ride to church even when my parents quit going. They accepted, respected, loved and nurtured me when my family could not. I am convinced that had it not been for the fellowship and acceptance of the people of this church, I would not have survived my childhood. I was taught about the loving acceptance of my Father in heaven, through their patient love and example.
When I was in my early twenties I met some other Christian people, and they invited me to their churches. There I learned about being saved and praying in the spirit, and spreading God's word. It was a whole new area for me, and a very exciting time in my life. I was saved on April 21, 1968.
And so on the very firm foundation of my formative years, the Lord lead me where He wanted me to follow., and I learned of a whole new way of worship and praise! After much prayer and soul searching I felt that I was to stay in the Episcopal church but to incorporate more prayer, praise, and bible study into my life.
Then the Lord brought me to California as an answer to prayer. When I got here, the first thing I did was find a church to attend. I said "Lord tell me where you want me to go, and will go there." I am still there today after many years. This church has not always been an easy place to be and I have said to the Lord many times.... "Are you sure this is where you want me?" always to a resounding "YES".
Then I hit a "snag" in my spiritual life. I was a new mother stuck in a strange place and felt very depressed and felt an evil presence around me. I was terrified and felt deserted. I was plagued by terrifying dreams and shear terror constantly. I felt God had abandoned me, and became suicidal. I felt this terrible evil every waking moment and it was much worse at night. I heard sounds that kept me awake and terrified me. This evil was so strong that even my family felt it. Although I would try to go to church, even there the noises and terror would not stop. I would pray read the bible and plead with God to make it stop. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me... and I couldn't understand why God was allowing this evil in my life. Then one night after praying and reading the psalms, it just stopped and God covered me in his wings of protection. He healed me of this and assured me that it would not come back.... and it has not.
Although the evil went away and along with it the terror, it has been a long slow journey back to where God wants me to be spiritually, and that brings me to the present, and a new spiritual awakening. One night I was online in a game, and I saw a person get a perfect score in this game (which if very difficult to do). I had this strong feeling that I was to IM this person, and did. She and I had a wonderful talk and she sent me her book. I was so touched that this Internet stranger would reach out to me in such a special way, and I have come to love Theresa very much. Through her, I have met many new Christian friends, and what is happening to me spiritually has been awesome. I now have people to talk with pray, study, and fellowship with. I believe God lead me to this place.
So I am in a new phase of my spiritual journey.. If I were to choose one event from my life to say AH HA this is when I became HIS I could not, for He has always been with me.
He has given me so much, I could fill a book. I could never ever repay all He has done for me. He has brought me out of an abusive situation to California, given me a wonderful family, made sure we had a place to live, healed my memories, banished the evil, and given the greatest gift of all... the gift of His Son. The love and joy I feel for Him cannot be compared to any other love. He has been the One Constant in my life and if I were to loose all that I have, I would still have Him. I love Him beyond words.
Kathy P. November 11, 1998
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